It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
