I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
