I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
did i walk over a car last night?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
try to milk me bitch
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