Just cropdusted the office
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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