Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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