my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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