this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
