he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize