i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
