dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
