I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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