forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
