He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
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At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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