We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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