Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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