too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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