And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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