Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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