Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
