Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
