No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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