You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
