I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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