First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
