We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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