Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
