you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
