hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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