im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second