i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.