I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians