I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
