Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
