so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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