You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
do herpes really smell.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
