My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize