Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
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