you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We have started to decorate penises.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
