Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
