Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
