remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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