They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
