apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Randomize
