i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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