i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
