In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
