soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
