Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
