Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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