She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize