Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
