i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
