vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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