Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
