He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
