Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
