so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
