when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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