I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
